Stories About Custody battles, And Dealing With The Law
Each story below is in fact a true story, a group of volunteers agreed to share their stories anonymously. Some of the following stories maybe hard for some readers to read. The following stories are here to help share real situations and how to over come the obstacles of divorce and child custody, and to show you are not alone.
"My ex died, and left my son to her sister in her will."
I am originally from Manitoba and met a girl when i was in my early twenties. We fell in love and had a child. My girlfriend and mother to my son had some mental health issues, and left me. She took our son with her when she left. We did not have an agreement for the child written on paper, it was just a verbal agreement. She without my knowledge wrote a will leaving my son to her sister, and not to me, his father. About two years ago now she passed away in a horrific accident and since then my son has been moved to another province to stay with his aunt because she now has sole custody. I myself have had to leave everything i know back home to try and fight for my son who was taken from me, without even giving me a chance as a father. I often wonder how it is that our legal system can allow things like this to happen when there is a well and living parents wanting to take care of their child. I am still fighting and will continue to fight until my son is eighteen years old and ready to move out on his own. i want my son back. The reason i cannot do anything about it is at first i had applied to the wrong courts. i have now learned i need to apply to the court where he is living. Since then i have been to over six court dates fighting for my son. Like i said earlier i will not give up.
"I was loosing hope thinking I would never get my daughter back until someone told me about legal aid"
I lost my job when i was twenty eight years old. Four months after my boyfriend of 7 years left me with a two year old girl. I was a single mother with no income and having to fight for my child. Here’s how it happened. My boyfriend walked out on me and my daughter. He told me he wanted to have nothing to do with us and I tried to ask him for money he'd make my life miserable. Me not being the argumentative type of person let it go and worked through my sadness and hurt quietly alone while trying to provide for my daughter, when he heard I lost my job he arrived on my door step and demanded my daughter. I repeatedly told him no but he became forceful and took my daughter from me. I drove to the nearest police station to inform them of what happened and all they said was that he was the father and asked if i feared she was endangered, I spoke the truth and said no however I wanted my daughter back. They made me wait two days before doing anything and recommended I get a lawyer; only i was a single mother and thought I would never be able to afford it. I was losing hope thinking I would never get my daughter back until someone told me about Legal Aid. I applied and within days got approved and met with a lawyer. I had a court date set and within a months’ time had my daughter back. I now have a custody agreement outlined and my ex and i go to counseling to deal with our custody battles. I'd recommend legal aid to anyone who is in financial need. However some people believe the myth that legal aid is free and it is not they base it off the amount you make and I’ve you a set amount (affordable amount) that you pay back as you can.
"Everything was picture perfect on the outside looking in, but from the inside it was a different story"
I had my first child at the age of 25, and purchased a house with the father of my child, our date to move in was just six days after our baby boy was born. Everything seemed picture perfect on the outside looking in, but on the inside it was a different story. I was a victim of domestic abuse. I left the father of my child three times before the final split, when my child was three months old, again when my child was five months old, and for a final time when my son was six months old. The final time i left, we had had a major fight in the morning that left me fearing for my life. I phoned the father of my son’s brother and he came over to make sure my son and i got out of our house safety. I packed up what I could carry and never came back home. I left him with the house along with everything else. For the next few months to follow I stayed on my friends couch, and when i felt i had taken up enough of her time I couch surfed at other friends’ houses. My family would not let me stay with them because they feared my ex, and did not want any drama or violence at their house. When my son turned eight months old we were finally allowed back in the house, and my sons father found other living arrangements. My first court date was when my son was almost a year old, i was fighting for primary care and control, joint decision making, and share of child support and child care/ daycare costs. During the time leading up to our first court date i had custody of our child, because my ex was undergoing investigation for three sexual assault charges on a minor: his daughter from his previous relationship. The next thing we discussed in court was how he could see his son considering he could not be in the presence of anyone under the age of fourteen without someone over eighteen years of age who knew about the charges, as a supervisor. There are a few things fought long and hard about over the years and through each and every court date and that was, to have no overnight visits for my child, because his father refused to stop sleeping naked in the bed with him, i was especially concerned considering the charges that were laid against him. The next thing was supervised visits due to a safety concerns because my sons father did not always make the best choices and has anger problems, the next thing i fought for was to get my son the medication and vaccinations he needed, along with other medical care. My sons father hates medical care and believes prescriptions and vaccinations are awful for you and for a while would not let me get the, for my son. Throughout my time going to court i had a family law lawyer, and at times represented myself. I agreed to go through mediation with the father of my son, an i now have primary care and control, along with final decision making as long as whatever the decision is, that it its ran past my sons father, however i have final say. Throughout my sons life I have attended seven court hearings, and they were approximately $3000 a pop. I applied for legal aid but did not qualify however my ex did and that is why he kept bringing me to court. My advice to anyone in relationship who is a victim of domestic violence, is document everything. Take photos, call the police whatever you can, because part of my problem when we split up was that the police had no proof he abused me because i never reported it because i was scared. i realize now how important it is to report.